I like fitness pal. But.....

Ok I love this my fitness pal app. It's really great. I ate a lot today it seemed like, but because I knew I would be logging the stuff, it was all healthy food. I felt a tiny urge to binge just once today, and it was before bed. Prolly a little less then an hour ago. I always binge and purge before bed. That's the only time I have time and my parents are in bed. Actually sometimes I do it when I'm drivin around. (on a really bad dAy) but for some reason, I didn't binge. I thought about it, almost did, but then didn't. So that was nice. I know for some reason it's because of this calorie counter app.

But here's the thing... Now that I'm getting a little control in life, I'm missing the times when I was really skinny and barely eating and running. I miss that soo much. I used to be able to loose weight FAST. like 10 pounds in a week. I miss that soo much. But I know if I go down that road that I'll prolly gain it back. I don't wanna mess up my metabolism but I read on anamia chronicles that this one girl eats 1200 cals one day, then hardly anything the next day. Supposedly ur body doesn't go into starvation mode until 48 hours of fasting. I kinda wanna try it but I'm scared of a couple things.
1) that on the days I barely eat anything I'm scared that I will be weak and give in and binge.
2) I'm scared that it won't work and make my body go into starvation mode and cling onto all the calories that I consume on the eating days And make me gain weight.
3) I'm scared that that comment on ana Mia chronicles was made by an anonymous hater and wanted some nieve person like me to believe it. I don't know what to do. Since todY was only day two of this, I'm gonna give it a week or two and if I start poising a little, then I'll try throwing a fasting day in there to see if that boosts my weightless. What do u guys think? Do u think it will screw up my recovering metabolism?


As far as exercise goes, still frequently hitting up the gym and loving it!!! I love the gym!!!!!!! It's my escape. Which is surprising that I haven't lost any weight since I started working out bec I didn't work out like this before. Oh well. One day at a time right? I want a cookie but I won't have one. Sigh. I'm kinda hungry but I wnt eat. I'm going to bed. Goodnight loves

yay:)

ok so this is day two of my fitness pal. ive been tracking everything and i still have 629 cals i can have! i had a protein shake for b, fruit for snacks, and a salad for lunch. and i had some cannadian bacon for a snack too. im gonna always try and stay just a tad under the cals, and if i work out, not count that as calories i can eat. my aunt did that on weight watchers. if she exercised, she wouldnt allow that to be extra calories, she just would like the negative calories. i feel very satisfifed and energized and not thinking "oh my god i cant do this." id reccomend this to everyone. it may seem scary at first, and not as fast as youd like, but its okay! i feel so good! by the way my starting weight is 136.8. dont know how it got back up there, but im starting fresh so im not too worried about it.

oh and i just got my period today so that could be why i gained a little. its sooo light, so im hoping itl be heavier tomorrow to relieve myself of some of this weight! i dont care that this weight loss is going to take a while, im doing this for me. the slower i loose, the easier it will be to keep it off. ive been struggling for MONTHS with this bulimia starvation thing and have i lost any weight? NO. have i been happy? NO. so a couple pounds a week? im happy with that. wish me luck ladies. love you all. i think i am seeing the road to recovery. just hope i dont get cocky. thats when people fall the hardest