hello everyone! im in a very good mood. for multiple reasons. first reason is that i discovered a new show. it distracts me and motivates me to not eat. in a sick way. its called starving in secrecy or something like that and its on lifetime. its all about bulimics and annorexia. ironically, i love reading books about my own disorder or watching shows about it. i dont know why but its some sort of therapy. the bulimic storys scare the shit out of me. theyre talking about how this one girl tore her esophegus and if she kept going on like she was, she was only gonna have a few more months to live. that freaked me out. but anyways, that show helps me and kinda motivates me to be a healthy ana. if thats possible.
another reason why im in a good mood is because yesterday for dinner i had a salad. then today i woke up and made coffee with my sugar free peppermint mocha creamer :D mmmmm. then for lunch i went out with my mom and just had smoothie. she gave me crap about it but i told her it was a little too early for lunch for me. then we ran errands, came home and she had a snack and she said you must be hungry. i said i was alittle and pretended to look through the cubbords for a snack. shes so busy and stuff she didnt notice that i didnt grab anything. now im sipping my green tea. my mom loves to monitor what i eat. shes such a fat bitch and i know shes jealous of how fast i can loose weight if i want to. she also asked me if i was on a diet as i was sipping my lemon water. here she comes im gonna post rest later
yayy for control! Lol same here, wintergirls was such a good book i cried so much, and then theres also this movie called "sharing the secret" on youtube and it made me cry so much (bulimia movie) and then there was also "perfect body" also on youtube. its actually about a gymnast too! same here, while starving isnt great no matter how you think about it its still better than puking and tearing ur insides to shreds everyday. i read b4 abt this girl who died from her stomach exploding because first she ate too much, then throwing up too and her body cudnt take it anymore. which sort of ended my binge cycles, or at least excessive binge cycles lol. now my binges never go over 800 calories.
ReplyDeleteStay strong<3
I'm following and I love reading your blog, so keep it up :)
ReplyDeleteI have seen that show! It's good, I undertsnad aboput what you mean about like, digging it in a sick kind of way. Hope your good mood lasts :D Stay strong.
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