Sick

I spent the day with my mom so I couldn't fast like I wanted to. She would never let me bec of my Ana past. After a big purge like two days ago my throat got really sore and I got extreme non stop heartburn:( it's been miserable and sore ever sense. And it's made me sick. I don't know if this sickness has anything to do with my purge or not, but my glands are swollen, my neck is stiff, my back is sore, my shoulders tight and painful, my ears ring and are plugged And my sinuses are stuffy and congested. Once I start feeling better I'm gonna work put. Tonight I ate quite a bit and had a huge cup of diet hot chocolate and for some reason I stepped on the scale. 139. It's the biggest number I've ever seen in my life. The heaviest I've ever been. I'm ashamed. I think this will spur me on to action. I discovered diet coke in my fridge downstairs! Yayyy! Im having that with my vitamin for breakfast and water of course. Coffee for lunch, veggies for dinner. If someone suggests that I have to eat or if I'm starving Im gonna have egg whites, vegitable boillon soup, and/or French onion soup in the cubberd. I'm so fucking fat right now I can't stand myself. I feel so unhappy rightnow I feel like dying. I can't wait to feel hungry in the morning. And I can't wait till I'm not sick anymore and when I can start working out like crazy!!!

Blog wants a face lift!

Hello everyone! I see that I have two followers! Thank you thank you thank you! I want to give my blog a face lift and put nice thinspo on it and make it beautiful:)

Oh my gosh I have a friend over right now and we ate so much. I am so full and feel so sick. I hate being full. I'm gonna fast tomorrow and workout like crazy. I'll let u know how tomorrow goes. Chao!

Ick

I've been binging and purging for like three nights in a row. I can't control myself! And everything I see with sugar I have to eat it. Cookies? Sure! Ice cream? Even better! Bread and butter? Yes why not. There is always so much junk food at my work it's rediculous. That's it! It's almost like I need to go shopping to buy alternatives o junk food like microwavable veggies, fruit, vegetable bullion for broth, diet pop, the works. I always end up spending money, but it's worth it. Alright tomorrow I'm gonna hang with my skinny friend and were gonna go shopping. Hopefully I don't feel too bad about myself. Goodnight loves!

Today... SUCCESS!!!!!!!!!!

Today was great! So for breakfast I had coffee, then my mom made me an egg on toast, but I just took two bites then ran upstairs with my plate pretending to need to call someone on my phone which was upstairs. Then I stashed my food and left the empty plate out making her think I ate it. For lunch I had some prunes and some diet Ginger ale (love that stuff) and a 100 cal iced coffee. I skipped dinner and that was easy bec I work during dinner time. Then I worked out and before my workout I was super hungry and had a teaspoon of almond butter. :( hopefully that sped up my metabolism. I'm super hungry right now but I'm just gonna go to bed instead.

Plan and purpose

Here is the plan for the rest of today an tomorrow

Its never too late to start the day over

Only zero calorie things for today

Tomorrow- tea, coffee, diet pop, protein shakes and smoothies, vegetables an that's it.

Plenty of water!!!!!!!!!!!

Take vitamins!!!!!!!!

Detox baths and yummy smelly lotions and crochet away;) I love having a plan for each day!

Depressed but gonna fix it

When am I my happiest? When my room is clean, when I write a to do list every night before bed, when I work ou every morning, when I'm with my friends, when I am clean and organized, when I'm not Practicing bulimia and not having sex.

Right now.... Different story. My room is a mess, I keep pressing snooze, I eat crap, then get really hungry so binge and purge all the time. I'm super disorganized, I haven't worked out in a long time, I'm isolating myself, and I feel like I don't have enough energy to get even the smallest stuff accomplished. But tomorrow is a new day. I wrote my to do list jus now for tomorrow morning. I'm reading my bible tonight before I go to bed. I'm working out a bit before I go out in the morning. And hopefully I'll have enough time to clean my room. I hate being disorganized. Right now I feel out of control. Today I ate 4 doughnuts and chocolate milk before I threw that and my dinner up in the target bathroom. Tomorrow I'm gonna go no carbs accept fruits and veggies and I'm gonna have Protein shakes if I'm hungry. Restriction and control is happiness. I'm aking a diet pill tomorrow too. Wish I could get some prescription ones... I heard there amazing. Alright tomorrow is a new day and I am going at it 100%. here's to being clean, pure, organized, and happy. Goodnight everyone

Keep it up girl

Ok so last night I binges and purged for the first time in a while. It was after work, I was starving, and one thing leads to another. But today I've been pretty good besides the candy corn tht I love. But I'm somehow gonna manage to skip dinner and not eat till I weigh myself in the morning. I'll tell u my stats.