I've been thinking...

I hung out with some random older people thAt I haven't hung out with in a long time. This one girl is super cool. Unique, quirky, I love her. She doesnt seem like one to care about her weight but she does like working out and being healthy. I gess she recently decided to lose weight like three weeks ago. She bought this app called my fitness pal and so far lost 7 pounds. She keeps track of her calories and all that. Out of curiosity I downloaded the app. The thing said I needed to eat like 1200 a day. And I was like are u flipping kidding me? That's so high! But I just tried it for one day. I tried to eat like a normal person. I felt sooooooo good! And it made me think twice about my decisions. Normally I would have a day of starvation, followed by a bing and purge, then a day of not caring, and the cycle would continue. And to top it all off, I'd feel like shit, id be killing myself, and I was starting to gain weight. My metabolism is so messed up. So I think this new app way will really work. I want a normal metabolism again. Then I accidentally went like 200 cals over so at like 9:00 tonight I wentto the gym. It was really fun. Good way to end my day. I normally would have just binged and purged at target or something. I really like this!!!! Ok so I'll keep u posted how this works.

Why am I not scared you may ask? I'm not scared because I'm ready to be healthy again and I don't want to kill myself and I want to have energy and following this strict calorie plan on this app still allows me to have the control that I need. I love it. I'm sure this is the OCD part of me talking right now, I've only used this thing for less then a day but I hope and pray that it works and that I can stick with it.

progress update! and new recipe

hi everyone! just thought id keep ya up to date on how my day is doing!

i put on a skirt and it went below my hips :D yippee im always paranoid that its going to fit snugly above my hips. so thats good. in other news, i was too afraid to go on the scale due to my sugar binge yesterday so i didnt. but i had a smoothie for breakfast and a smoothie for lunch and i feel great. a little hungry right now, but nothing that a diet ginger ale on my way to the gym cant fix. im still really sore in my legs today but im gonna work out, then go to work, then do a little gymnastics after work then go home and eat the rest of my smoothie that i stuck in the freezer. yay! i feel really good today, hope it stays this way. wish me luck! love you everybody!

oh and i made this wonderful salad dressing/veggie dip last night! i had it with my celery and its extremely low calorie.

1 tbsp spicy mustard
1tbsp balsamic vinegar
some water
garlic salt
cracked pepper

stir it up and viola! it tastes good to me, but i always eat wierd combonations of food so i dont know how good it will taste for you guys. i have before cut out the garlic salt and added a packet of splenda and that was also super delicious. i have these flavored balsamics that taste really sweet but have no sugar in them. like blackberry ginger. theyre soooo good but its really expensive. i got it at a specialty store. but anyways let me know what you think of the dressing, and mix whatever youd like in there. all my measurements are approximate because i just throw it together.

love ya! toodles till next time!

xoxo
gymnastskinny

way to long

hello! my apologies!! i dont know why the hell i havent posted in a week! my parents came back and all was well. i was gonna surprize them with a better anniversary gift but didnt get to it. shit. oh well, maybe ill just give it to them late. alright well ive been extremely stressed with a million things going on. but i have been going to the gym every day since i got my membership. thats like 15 days or something like that. wow! and today is my rest day. im so tired and sore today. i did this total conditioning class yesterday after i ate too much carbs but i was like the fastest in the class. i felt really good about myself. i wasnt the skinniest one there, but prolly the strongest and fastest. then i went to a dance party and danced for like 4 hours. but i came home and was SO FUCKING HUNGRY. ever since ive started working out more my appetite is soo strong. i cant resist it and i cant loose weight. i weighed myslef on friday and i was back up to 138.8. wtf. im so sick of gaining weight and eating. im so freaking scared to look at the scale because today i wasnt careful at all. i had two cupcakes from work and like 5 cookies. i purged a little after dinner, but still the bad stuff was way before dinner. i guess i ate bad because i was so stressed. but okay tomorrow is fresh and i will go to the gym before work and i will do gymnastics after work.

i will weigh myself every morning and continually lose.

oh and i got extremely inspired by Sunshinechild's posts about her smoothies and her successful weight loss. they are so full of vitamins i am so going to do that! the only thing is i need protein powder in my after workout smoothies. but i will do this. im gonna have smoothies with protein powder, skim milk and fruit. i will live off smoothies, veggies, and lean protein like canadian bacon and chicken breasts. i can do this.

thank you sunshinchild!! p.s. girls... her blog is awesome!

alright ladies i would love to tell you about my boy situation but ill save that for another post. love you all!
xoxo
gymnast skinny

Hello hello!

this is dedicated to all my new followers! hey there! thank you for joining me! :D you make me happy! if everyone that reads this wants to introduce themselves to me that would be awesome! wed be closer then! and help eachother out!

ok so i got good news and bad news.. bad news first. my friend came over and after my GOOD day, she wanted to go out to eat. i had lettuce wraps which is pretty healthy, but then i had two small slices of pizza. then i got a slice of cake. then later when we were watching a movie i got super hungry. it was like my body just realized how hungry i was from not eating all day and that food just angered it. so i had popcorn (diet kind) and hot chocolate and marshmellos and some nuts.. and mints. shit. so i didnt even bother to weigh myself. that was friday. then yesterday i ate eggs and onions. then went to the gym. then had a protein shake. then went to a party (new years!!) and had some chips and some wheat thins. then when we got home i was starving and had some more diet popcorn and hot chocolate. then i felt bad and while my friend was downstairs watching tv i binged. i know. what a horrible friend. i said i had to take a big dump. im close to her like that. then i purged.

bad news cont.. so this morning i had a special k protein bar for breakfast. (not bad) then i ran some errands and went to target. i saw all the clearance christmas sugar shit and bought some. i dont know why the hell i did that. then i ran to burger king and got fries and a shake. ate it all and purged. way to start out my new years resolution of no binging. fuck.

but good news... i weighed myself after my purge and i didnt gain any weight from this weekend. i still weigh 134.4. crazy. so im going to the gym today and then going to my aunts house to watch a movie. if i go to the gym and dont eat anything afterwards i will for sure lose tomorrow. the only challenge is CAN I WATCH A MOVIE WITH MY FRIENDS AND NOT EAT? we will see. i will bring a pretend protein shake in the car and just say i just finished the shake and am not hungry. well see how that works ill tell ya how much i weigh in the morning!

just doing laundry now, it feels so good to clean. i love cleaning. i love you all! shout out to all my followers! tell me a little bit about yourself!

xoxo gymnast

OBSESSED

alright ladies if you dont have a gym membership i definately reccomend you GET ONE!!! it is amazing. i love it. not like a cheap gym, but like a fitness club with a sauna, classes, steam room. it is amazing. its kept me not eating too! so im gonna share what i had today

coffee with sugar free creamer,
few sips of pinapple juice,
americano with 1 inch of steamed soy (my fav coffee drink)
metamucil for fiber

then i went to the gym and worked out for a long time. did the stair stepper for ten min, then the bike for 10, then some weights, then crunchies, then the treadmill for ten min. then i stretched and went in a studio and did some contortionist stuff for like 15 min. it was so fun! then i did the steam room for about ten min.

then i came home and made a fruit smoothie with protein powder for my muscles.

now im gonna drink lots of water, and i think im going snowboarding with my friend tonight then hot tub it up! im so excited! im gonna weigh myself tomorrow morning i hope i lost something! this morning when i weighed myself i gained a little! but i think that was because i hadnt pooped in a while and i ate a ton of veggies last night. lets hope its only that. god.

but ya im obsessed with the gym. i hope it stays that way!

xoxo
gymnast

bad day turned good

alright so i said in my last post that its never too late to start your day over? well guess what? after i "started it over" it was AWESOME!! i got a gym membership!!! it was actually a really good deal not expensive at all because they were having a deal. i worked out and it felt amazing! totally endorphans running through my body. then i came home and ate veggies and some beans and diet hot chocolate. really hungry now, but im gonna have some diet ginger ale and water and watch a movie. i also cleaned my house, my room, wrote a paper for work that was hanging over my head, and did everything on my to do list. i LOVE TODAY! and my parents werent here to ask anything of me. i love life. :D im gonna be going to the gym everyday. and the gym is 24 hours!!! yippeee! and its really really close to my house. like a mile.

love life!
xoxo
gymnastskinny

oh my god

ok first lets talk about what happened last night. my best friend is getting married. theres so much shit with this wedding it drives me insane. first of all, her fiance is my ex boyfriend. we were seriously in love. he would tell me he loves me all the time. hes the sweetest guy and we pictured ourselves being married in a few years. then we called it off for a break bec we were too young for such a serious commitment. and he lives far away. and we were too busy with work and stuff to hang out all the time. so then before i know it i find out that my bff likes him. then i see that when i see my guy at social parties, he ignors me, talks to her, then leaves early. i wasnt actually that close to my bff at the time. (weve been friends for YEARS, but off and on bec sometimes we butt heads.) so then she tells me that they like eachother. and that theyre starting to date. i play it like... oh okay thats fine if you want my sloppy seconds go ahead. but thats not really how i felt.

most of you would say "drop that bitch! you dont need her as a friend! bla bla bla." and you know what i did do that for a while, but i really do love the girl. ive grown up with her and she is so much fun. i get her. and shes gone through a LOT. lets just say that. so idk i could never not have her as a friend.

i know ill get over this eventually, but the wedding thing is really hard, and i think she knows it but is so mad at me for not being super excited for her. i was gonna be the maid of honor, she told me i was gonna be it. but then she gave the position to one of her other bridesmaids because she was "doing more for the wedding" but get this... she wasnt even fucking engaged yet when she switched me from being the maid of honor to the other bridesmaid being the made of honor. idk girls im just so pissed off on many levels for more reasons then what ive said just now.

sorry for that rambling. but anyways.....

so last night we basically were preparing the bachelorette night for this girl. it sounds super fun actually. and i am excited for the party. we were planning it before the bride to be came. then she comes over, shes lost weight recently.. boo. were all swimming in the pool and theyre all talking about their gym memberships and theyre favorite classes they like to go to. i felt totally out of the loop because im the only one without a gym membership because i cant afford one. oh might i add that this bride to be is soooooooooooooooooooooooo spoiled because her family has money and her parents give her whatever she wants? theyre buying her a house for a wedding present with all stainless steal appliances. wtf

ok so they were all skinny and athletic looking and when i went to the bathroom i looked at myself in the mirror. i looked so wierd. you could see my ribs when i slightly suck in. (which i always do anyways) but even though you could see my ribs, there was like flab to my stomach. it looked unhealthy. i dont know how to fix that. i looked really ugly. so i was kinda depressed after that night because the bride to be was making me feel bad because i didnt know much of the wedding plans, i havent hung out with her in a while and i just didnt feel in the loop. so when i left the party i went to a 24 hour grocery store and bought 20$ worth of bing food. horrible i know. it took me three binges and purges and one this morning to get rid of all that poison. i feel horrible.

BUT in a way im happy that its behind me. i got it out of my system. now im just gonna be pure and not eat anything more. im gonna have a to do list and do it all. today is me day and im going to get all that i need done.
ITS NEVER TOOO LATE TO START YOUR DAY OVER!!!!!

oh and im gonna post my goals on here and skinny recipes and all that:D hope your all having a wonderful day as i will.

huge shout out to stillimagining, metalrosethorn, K, starving angel, thrash, leigha, and all my other followers and those who read my blog. I LOVE YOU!!!!!