Sick

I spent the day with my mom so I couldn't fast like I wanted to. She would never let me bec of my Ana past. After a big purge like two days ago my throat got really sore and I got extreme non stop heartburn:( it's been miserable and sore ever sense. And it's made me sick. I don't know if this sickness has anything to do with my purge or not, but my glands are swollen, my neck is stiff, my back is sore, my shoulders tight and painful, my ears ring and are plugged And my sinuses are stuffy and congested. Once I start feeling better I'm gonna work put. Tonight I ate quite a bit and had a huge cup of diet hot chocolate and for some reason I stepped on the scale. 139. It's the biggest number I've ever seen in my life. The heaviest I've ever been. I'm ashamed. I think this will spur me on to action. I discovered diet coke in my fridge downstairs! Yayyy! Im having that with my vitamin for breakfast and water of course. Coffee for lunch, veggies for dinner. If someone suggests that I have to eat or if I'm starving Im gonna have egg whites, vegitable boillon soup, and/or French onion soup in the cubberd. I'm so fucking fat right now I can't stand myself. I feel so unhappy rightnow I feel like dying. I can't wait to feel hungry in the morning. And I can't wait till I'm not sick anymore and when I can start working out like crazy!!!