Self Discipline is Needed

Self Discipline is Needed
This is beautiful

Thursday, March 15, 2012

weigh in this moring........ (suspense :D)

135.8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can you believe it? thats so much better then 140! yayyy me! i love the abc diet :)

and i love the support of everyone who is doing this diet with me. thank you so much. we can do this.

ok so today is day 4. 400 cals. its kinda hard, but not too bad. im getting used to it. ive been talking to marilee and she helps me not binge. and visa versa.

i told her something yesterday that i have never posted before. i talked about a way to cope with the craving to binge. i sometimes do "mock binges". like i pretend to binge. in my head. sometimes i write it out, sometimes i just think about it. a lot of times its before i go to bed. fantasizing about being the only one in a grocery store, opening anything i want, making messes and eating cakes, doughnuts, ice creams, chips, chocolate milk, pizza, EVERYTHING. i imagine the way it tastes, the texture, the feeling of being full in my stomach. then i imagine purging. getting it all out. and by the end of that, im so glad i didnt do it in real life.

wierd, i know... but come on.. most eating disorders are wierd anyways.

ok so far ive had coffee and a salad with just balsamic vinegar. idk how many cals the salad had, prolly really low like 50 or so. im just gonna have like fruits and veggies today. im really tired. im going to take a nap before i have to go back into work. then maybe after work i will go to the gym. all my lovelies that are doing this with me, stay strong!!! eat all your 400 cals today bec tomorrow is going to be a tuffy! lol love you!!!!!!!!!!!

special thanks to...









do you guys think she is too muscular? i kinda like it...