sister stared, not saying anything.
"i thought you were done with this. you told me you dont do this anymore" mom was obviously furious. i still didnt know what she had found from my sisters car.
"i am done with that stuff. that was from a long time ago. i dont even know where you found that from."
"bullshit" mom cried instantly. sister was a great lier, lies came so easy to her and mom knew that. "you think god will bless you when you pull crap like this and abuse your body? I am so mad at you. you know better then that. i thought you had changed."
i found out later that my sister had laxatives in her car. i knew what laxatives did, but i had no idea that people used them to lose weight. I was about 8 years old during this account. i still remember it clear as day. i found out later that my sister had bulimia. she has never been skinny, but always chubby or obese. she obviously didnt lose weight from bulimia. people say that if a family member has had an eating disorder you are way more likely to get one yourself. well, my mother once confessed to me that she used to throw up after her meals too when she was a teenager, but she "grew out of it."
no one grows out of an eating disorder. maybe thats why shes so fat today. i think its wierd that out of a family of 4, 3 of us have eating disorders. can i say disfunctional?
well, each time i think of a flash back like this one, i am going to record it here. i hope it helps me forget about it.
special thanks to
stillimagining
carousel
Fragile Heart
WeWillChange
Merilee!
Alice
i love you all and you keep me going. thank you. much love
