succesful day and something that really helps!

today was successful. i woke up and wanted breakfast sooooo badly. but i had a waterbottle in the fridge and put crystal light 0 cal drink mix in there and had that for breakfast instead. its pretty filling actually! then for lunch i had coffee with creamer. my mom said "you havent eaten anything today" in a bitchy snotty way. and i said "yes i did" "what did you have?" (again bitchy. i swear shes jealous) "a protein meal replacement bar" i lied. i feel horrible lying to her but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. then i had diet creamed asparagus soup which was really nummy and salad with balsamic vinegar for dressing. ill put the asparagus recipe on my site soon theres no cream in it and its fabulous! then i had a wonderful dessert that i will post here

Take a GIANT Coffee mug. mine is as big as a bowl.
boil water
put the diet hot chocolate in the mug (25 cals)
pour just a tad of the hot water in and stir (this way it doesnt get lumpy on top)
when no more lumps, add the rest of the water
add 1 tsp of sugar free powderd coffee creamer so it doesnt taste so watered down (10 cals)

and ta da!!! very filling sweet dessert. i love it. def reccomend buying diet hot chocolate. its something i look foreward to in life.

so the things that really helps with weight loss? i always forget about this. WATER!!! CRYSTAL LIGHT!! (or generic stuff thats cheaper) SPARKLING WATER!! i myself am obsessed with the coconut flavored la croix water) and DIET HOT CHOCOLATE!!!


best stuff ever. it tastes like calorie free sex. on vacation. with suntan lotion on.


i didnt like this stuff at first. but its grown on me. if you prepare it like i said you wont get the lumps. once you get used to it it becomes the bomb.

so ya... thats about it. since i did good today i will weigh myself tommrow and let you know where im at. im hoping its not dissapointing bec after the party my wieght was really high. stupid metabolism. wish me luck!!!!! oh and btw, im feeling much better. i was sick before but im better now :D

i feel fat

alright so family party yesterday. did i refrain from food? no. my portions i tried to be smaller. and actually i did eat less then i normally would at a fam party. my aunt got skinnier. they all have skinny legs. i dont know how i got these thick thighs. my mom calls them gymnast thighs but i hate them. nastia luken doesnt have thighs like this. ugh. but ya so i ate two cupcakes last night for dessert. shit. then today i had a kellogs fiber bar for breakfast, yogurt for lunch, then we went to my uncles house on my dads side and had dinner. i had a large salad, a dinner roll, mashed potatos (small serving) a small serving of roast. and some ice cream and peach cobler. ya. i know. a lot of calories. i feel sick about it. then i watched a movie and had popcorn. and a cookie dough ball. im sooo scared to weigh myself.

im scared to see my friend friday that i havent seen since summer. i wont eat carbs or anything untill friday. i will have yogurt for lunch and fruit for snacks and veggies and lean chicken or something for dinner. i cant be fat when he comes. i need to loose at least a few pounds! im so scared. im desparate. im thinking i should do some detox? with a laxative tea? i know my one aunt does them all the time. and she has these juice drinks she has for like three days to detox. idk. whats the fastest way you guys loose weight? oh and im sick with a fricking cold so i cant really work out. it sucks. and im craving sugar soooo bad! ok on a good note i would like to promote an etsy shop. i love crocheted stuff and fell in love with this shop! and this clutch.









these pics just give me a good feeling. i love all her stuff. her shop can be found here
http://www.etsy.com/shop/ALTernativeCreations?ref=seller_info


ya still trying to focus on other things in life wrather then food. doesnt really work. but im still trying. much love xoxo

I can't sleep so I'll share a secret

Hi, Its my new goal to go to bed atthe same time every night so that I get a good routine and that I get more sleep! I was really tired all day but now that it comes to bed time I can't sleep. Crap!

Ok so this is my secret. I know of the best cheapest laxative out there and it tastes good, its not super uncomfortable coming out if u know what I mean, and people would think nothing of it if they saw it at ur house. U guys may know of this already, but I haven't heard much talk of it. I came apon it by accident but have used it afterwards for emergencies. Now I am not reccomending this by any means. I hope people don't consider my site a pro Mia sight because I would never promote Mia. I think it's an awful killing disease that strangles it's victims and I would never wish this hell upon anyone. But it's like if ur practicing Mia, it gonna do it anyways and if I can't say it to anyone, who can I tell? I'm just venting anyways.

Ok. Here's what I use as emergany laxatives- sugar free candy. I binged horribly today. After I had my eggs and beans and salsa I was craving something sweet. So I had a couple frosted mini wheats. Not bad. Butthen I had honey. Felt super guilty about that so then I had a huge bowl of rice with cheese and melted it with lots of salt and had chez mix wig melted peanut butter and sugar and chocolate mixed in and I forget what else I had then I purged it up. Then I was craving sugary coffee so I went to target and bout a cappicino and a choc chip cookie. That cookie was huge and so soft it was the best and only cookie I've had in a long time. Then I bought the sugar free candy bec I knew I was gonna have to use it and some other random stuff from target. Then I stopped at burger king and got some fries and a brownie Sunday. Ate that. Then had some popcorn. How guilty was I u ask?

Very guilty. So then I ate a whole package of sugar free candy. Wait a couple hours and it will go right through u. It used to be 20 min but now it goes through me slower. It could happen to everybody or jus me idk. But it sure as he'll works fore me. I get really gassy and bloated though just a warning. Oh and every time you (sorry if graphic) pass gas, you have to be careful bec u don't wNt to have an accident. Have any of u guys used sugar free candies before?

But anyways I'm gettin a little desperate to lose weight bec my friend is coming in one week. I'm so nervous! I'm gonna follow the strict diet of yogurt for lunch and fruits and veggies for din din. I need to loose weight pronto! I have a huge fan party tomorrow I hope I can resist all the desserts! Its gonna be so fricking hard! Wish me luck! If I resist the treats tomorrow, what should I reward myself with? I appreciate ur input everybody!

constant struggle but dealing with it

hey everyone! hope all is going well. have i told you guys about my love for etsy yet? im trying to distract myself of my e.d. by other things in life. etsy is one of them. i am like obsessed with homemade soaps and lotions that look and smell like sweets. heres some examples...



cake batter whipped soap! can be found here... http://www.etsy.com/shop/BungalowBathBody?ref=seller_info



ive actually boughten this buttercream body frosting and use it before bed. it helps me when i feel like eating junk. i cant eat it, but i can smell it!!!! http://www.etsy.com/shop/bubbletub?ref=seller_info

ill be putting new etsy things on here every once in a while. but ya.... im prolly gonna do something with my friends tonight. i am just so dog gone tired. i want to go to the gym but i dont seem to have the energy! i had coffee for breakfast this morning and was STARVING at like 2:00. then i had refried beans, egg whites, salsa and toast. i added up the calories and it ended up being like 549 cals. wtf. and im like still hungry! i want cereal! but im not gonna allow myself to have any. oh my god chocolate cake sounds so good! i think my body is rebelling against me and shooting me cravings that are extremely powerful. i just cant give in. i have to realize there are other things wayyy better then food. its hard to do though. im gonna have some tea and read my book and rest then hit the gym then hang out with my friends. my throat is sore from purging two days ago. i hope i dont get sick

oh i also need to manage my time better so i am going to the store to buy a daily planner. love those things! i also want to paint my finger and toe nails, clean my room, etc. wow im tired!!!!

xoxo gymnast

134.8!

I lost two pounds in one day! That's pretty impressive. Probably because I didn't eat anything but coffee, chili, and a piece of toast with peanut butter. My mom gave me crap about not eating that's why I ate the toast.

Today I was really hungry and I don't want my metabolism to slow down so I'm going by calorie counter today and not going over 1000. Then tomorrow I'll do sunshinechilds diet of yogurt for lunch and veggies and fruit for dinner. I haven't made coffee yet and am debating if I should make that or tea. I lovethem both! I think I'll have some English breakfast tea with skim milk and splenda. It's to die for!

I didn't go to the gym yesterday so I'm gonna go today and try to burn off all the calories I'll eat today. I'm so excited that the numbers are going down! My stomach looked really flat this morning. I'll post my weight tomorrow again!

136.8

Crap. Back to my old weight. My body does not want to give up 136.8. But I will make it. Damn numbers. I remember one time when I weighed 119 and after a fan party of eating I hoped on the scale and I was 135! I started crying. I then for like three days committed an was back down to 123. I don't know how the he'll I did that. Prolly very unhealthily. But ya anyways just thought I'd say that. Tomorrow I will weigh less. I promise. I'm excited for my yogurt for lunch. My coffee for breakfast was delicious. My dad made breakfast but I succeeded and didn't have anything but coffee. He made cheesy hashbrowns, toast, eggs etc. It looked so good. My dad is the best breakfast maker. But I didn't have any.

Oh and ps I'm adding metamucil to my diet to keep regular. Don't wanna get constipated. Oh and what all do u guys consider to be negative foods? I googled it but I wanna see what my girls have to say about it

my nails

ive been obsessed with keeping my nails nice and kinda long and keeping them painted! its a wonderful distraction to eating when your painting your nails. and theyre for some reason a huge confidence booster. and color is so beautiful. i love any color. thats my tip for the day. paint your nails.

as far as the diet goes, i followed it to a T! i worked out at the gym today after work and burned 400 calories on the elyptical. then did a ton of strength training. i swear my arms are getting bigger. ive always loved that "ripped" look, like super muscular, but i dont wanna get bigger. i want to have like 1% body fat and lean muscle that is obvious but not bulky. im gonna talk to one of the workers at the gym to make sure im not doing things that will bulk me up.

and im soo excited because i ordered new running shoes on ebay and they should be in the mail tomorrow! alright ive got some reading to do and then im going to bed.

remember all those times where i said i would weigh myself in the morning and never did? well im gonna make a confession. it was because i ate at night and was too afraid to weigh myself. this time i promise i wont eat and will actually post my weight lol.

love yal!
goodnight!
wan an (chinese)

xoxo
gymnast

following the plan

LOVE this diet plan! its my first day. im losing weight because i will see a friend on the 27th of jan and he hasnt seen me in forever and i need to be skinny like i was this summer. heres what i had so far
breakfast- coffee
lunch- chobani greek yogurt (lots of sugar :/) gotta find an unsweetened greek yogurt
snacks - apple, cutie clemontine,
dinner - squash and mixed veggies including green beans, carrots, peas, and corn.

im going to work today pretty soon. i hope theres no cake or anything there. there is always food in the staff room for us. i hate it! but at the same time i love it. its always such good food. but today i am going to stay good. i need to look good for the guy thats coming to visit!!! i already resisted a doughnut, sugary cereal, and a cake pops at my house. im strong today. i can do this. i havent gotten a chance to go to the gym yet, im hoping i can get there after work. i was so hungry today after lunch but i took a nap and slept it off. it was great. worked well. alright well my room is a mess and i gotta clean that up along with the kitchen. so i gotta go.

oh and as far as my weight i was afraid to weigh myself this morning due to the shit that happened yesterday. ill weigh myself tomorrow and let you know my stats!

shoutout to
MetalRoseThorn
Leigha
stillimagining
Alice
thrash_unreal

thank you for all of your comments and support. i love you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

xoxo
gymnast

Not Patient yet

Loving the calorie counting thing but I'm not quite ready to follow it yet. It's too slow for me. I have a friend coming to visit in less then two weeks and he hasn't seen me since last summer and I was skinnier then. So I have to loose at leas ten pounds fast!!!!!!!!! I'm following beautiful sunshine Childs diet that has worked for her.



 Breakfast= Sugarfree energy drink, hot tea, or black coffee. Lunch= Light yogurt ( Under 100 calories)   Snack all day on negative calorie foods and tea and coffee Dinner= fresh fruits and veggies. Weigh in every morning and post it! :)


Every once In a while I might swap the yogurt for protein smoothie/shake. I'm gonna work out like crazy this week and next week also. No excuses!!! I love it when events/people motivate me to lose weight. Its like a fun little game in my head. Alright im going to bed goodnigh love u all

On my way to the gym! And my plan...

I'll be brief bec I need to go to the gym in between work shifts. But here's my plan. I will follow the my fitness pal calorie stuff until tuesday and then on Tuesday I will eat super low calories. Like 300. Then on wed I'll eat the my fitness pal amount. I might do every third day a 300 cal day. I don't wanna screw up my metabolism so I'm hoping that will work! I'm excited to try it an I'll let u know how it goes!

I like fitness pal. But.....

Ok I love this my fitness pal app. It's really great. I ate a lot today it seemed like, but because I knew I would be logging the stuff, it was all healthy food. I felt a tiny urge to binge just once today, and it was before bed. Prolly a little less then an hour ago. I always binge and purge before bed. That's the only time I have time and my parents are in bed. Actually sometimes I do it when I'm drivin around. (on a really bad dAy) but for some reason, I didn't binge. I thought about it, almost did, but then didn't. So that was nice. I know for some reason it's because of this calorie counter app.

But here's the thing... Now that I'm getting a little control in life, I'm missing the times when I was really skinny and barely eating and running. I miss that soo much. I used to be able to loose weight FAST. like 10 pounds in a week. I miss that soo much. But I know if I go down that road that I'll prolly gain it back. I don't wanna mess up my metabolism but I read on anamia chronicles that this one girl eats 1200 cals one day, then hardly anything the next day. Supposedly ur body doesn't go into starvation mode until 48 hours of fasting. I kinda wanna try it but I'm scared of a couple things.
1) that on the days I barely eat anything I'm scared that I will be weak and give in and binge.
2) I'm scared that it won't work and make my body go into starvation mode and cling onto all the calories that I consume on the eating days And make me gain weight.
3) I'm scared that that comment on ana Mia chronicles was made by an anonymous hater and wanted some nieve person like me to believe it. I don't know what to do. Since todY was only day two of this, I'm gonna give it a week or two and if I start poising a little, then I'll try throwing a fasting day in there to see if that boosts my weightless. What do u guys think? Do u think it will screw up my recovering metabolism?


As far as exercise goes, still frequently hitting up the gym and loving it!!! I love the gym!!!!!!! It's my escape. Which is surprising that I haven't lost any weight since I started working out bec I didn't work out like this before. Oh well. One day at a time right? I want a cookie but I won't have one. Sigh. I'm kinda hungry but I wnt eat. I'm going to bed. Goodnight loves

yay:)

ok so this is day two of my fitness pal. ive been tracking everything and i still have 629 cals i can have! i had a protein shake for b, fruit for snacks, and a salad for lunch. and i had some cannadian bacon for a snack too. im gonna always try and stay just a tad under the cals, and if i work out, not count that as calories i can eat. my aunt did that on weight watchers. if she exercised, she wouldnt allow that to be extra calories, she just would like the negative calories. i feel very satisfifed and energized and not thinking "oh my god i cant do this." id reccomend this to everyone. it may seem scary at first, and not as fast as youd like, but its okay! i feel so good! by the way my starting weight is 136.8. dont know how it got back up there, but im starting fresh so im not too worried about it.

oh and i just got my period today so that could be why i gained a little. its sooo light, so im hoping itl be heavier tomorrow to relieve myself of some of this weight! i dont care that this weight loss is going to take a while, im doing this for me. the slower i loose, the easier it will be to keep it off. ive been struggling for MONTHS with this bulimia starvation thing and have i lost any weight? NO. have i been happy? NO. so a couple pounds a week? im happy with that. wish me luck ladies. love you all. i think i am seeing the road to recovery. just hope i dont get cocky. thats when people fall the hardest

I've been thinking...

I hung out with some random older people thAt I haven't hung out with in a long time. This one girl is super cool. Unique, quirky, I love her. She doesnt seem like one to care about her weight but she does like working out and being healthy. I gess she recently decided to lose weight like three weeks ago. She bought this app called my fitness pal and so far lost 7 pounds. She keeps track of her calories and all that. Out of curiosity I downloaded the app. The thing said I needed to eat like 1200 a day. And I was like are u flipping kidding me? That's so high! But I just tried it for one day. I tried to eat like a normal person. I felt sooooooo good! And it made me think twice about my decisions. Normally I would have a day of starvation, followed by a bing and purge, then a day of not caring, and the cycle would continue. And to top it all off, I'd feel like shit, id be killing myself, and I was starting to gain weight. My metabolism is so messed up. So I think this new app way will really work. I want a normal metabolism again. Then I accidentally went like 200 cals over so at like 9:00 tonight I wentto the gym. It was really fun. Good way to end my day. I normally would have just binged and purged at target or something. I really like this!!!! Ok so I'll keep u posted how this works.

Why am I not scared you may ask? I'm not scared because I'm ready to be healthy again and I don't want to kill myself and I want to have energy and following this strict calorie plan on this app still allows me to have the control that I need. I love it. I'm sure this is the OCD part of me talking right now, I've only used this thing for less then a day but I hope and pray that it works and that I can stick with it.

progress update! and new recipe

hi everyone! just thought id keep ya up to date on how my day is doing!

i put on a skirt and it went below my hips :D yippee im always paranoid that its going to fit snugly above my hips. so thats good. in other news, i was too afraid to go on the scale due to my sugar binge yesterday so i didnt. but i had a smoothie for breakfast and a smoothie for lunch and i feel great. a little hungry right now, but nothing that a diet ginger ale on my way to the gym cant fix. im still really sore in my legs today but im gonna work out, then go to work, then do a little gymnastics after work then go home and eat the rest of my smoothie that i stuck in the freezer. yay! i feel really good today, hope it stays this way. wish me luck! love you everybody!

oh and i made this wonderful salad dressing/veggie dip last night! i had it with my celery and its extremely low calorie.

1 tbsp spicy mustard
1tbsp balsamic vinegar
some water
garlic salt
cracked pepper

stir it up and viola! it tastes good to me, but i always eat wierd combonations of food so i dont know how good it will taste for you guys. i have before cut out the garlic salt and added a packet of splenda and that was also super delicious. i have these flavored balsamics that taste really sweet but have no sugar in them. like blackberry ginger. theyre soooo good but its really expensive. i got it at a specialty store. but anyways let me know what you think of the dressing, and mix whatever youd like in there. all my measurements are approximate because i just throw it together.

love ya! toodles till next time!

xoxo
gymnastskinny

way to long

hello! my apologies!! i dont know why the hell i havent posted in a week! my parents came back and all was well. i was gonna surprize them with a better anniversary gift but didnt get to it. shit. oh well, maybe ill just give it to them late. alright well ive been extremely stressed with a million things going on. but i have been going to the gym every day since i got my membership. thats like 15 days or something like that. wow! and today is my rest day. im so tired and sore today. i did this total conditioning class yesterday after i ate too much carbs but i was like the fastest in the class. i felt really good about myself. i wasnt the skinniest one there, but prolly the strongest and fastest. then i went to a dance party and danced for like 4 hours. but i came home and was SO FUCKING HUNGRY. ever since ive started working out more my appetite is soo strong. i cant resist it and i cant loose weight. i weighed myslef on friday and i was back up to 138.8. wtf. im so sick of gaining weight and eating. im so freaking scared to look at the scale because today i wasnt careful at all. i had two cupcakes from work and like 5 cookies. i purged a little after dinner, but still the bad stuff was way before dinner. i guess i ate bad because i was so stressed. but okay tomorrow is fresh and i will go to the gym before work and i will do gymnastics after work.

i will weigh myself every morning and continually lose.

oh and i got extremely inspired by Sunshinechild's posts about her smoothies and her successful weight loss. they are so full of vitamins i am so going to do that! the only thing is i need protein powder in my after workout smoothies. but i will do this. im gonna have smoothies with protein powder, skim milk and fruit. i will live off smoothies, veggies, and lean protein like canadian bacon and chicken breasts. i can do this.

thank you sunshinchild!! p.s. girls... her blog is awesome!

alright ladies i would love to tell you about my boy situation but ill save that for another post. love you all!
xoxo
gymnast skinny

Hello hello!

this is dedicated to all my new followers! hey there! thank you for joining me! :D you make me happy! if everyone that reads this wants to introduce themselves to me that would be awesome! wed be closer then! and help eachother out!

ok so i got good news and bad news.. bad news first. my friend came over and after my GOOD day, she wanted to go out to eat. i had lettuce wraps which is pretty healthy, but then i had two small slices of pizza. then i got a slice of cake. then later when we were watching a movie i got super hungry. it was like my body just realized how hungry i was from not eating all day and that food just angered it. so i had popcorn (diet kind) and hot chocolate and marshmellos and some nuts.. and mints. shit. so i didnt even bother to weigh myself. that was friday. then yesterday i ate eggs and onions. then went to the gym. then had a protein shake. then went to a party (new years!!) and had some chips and some wheat thins. then when we got home i was starving and had some more diet popcorn and hot chocolate. then i felt bad and while my friend was downstairs watching tv i binged. i know. what a horrible friend. i said i had to take a big dump. im close to her like that. then i purged.

bad news cont.. so this morning i had a special k protein bar for breakfast. (not bad) then i ran some errands and went to target. i saw all the clearance christmas sugar shit and bought some. i dont know why the hell i did that. then i ran to burger king and got fries and a shake. ate it all and purged. way to start out my new years resolution of no binging. fuck.

but good news... i weighed myself after my purge and i didnt gain any weight from this weekend. i still weigh 134.4. crazy. so im going to the gym today and then going to my aunts house to watch a movie. if i go to the gym and dont eat anything afterwards i will for sure lose tomorrow. the only challenge is CAN I WATCH A MOVIE WITH MY FRIENDS AND NOT EAT? we will see. i will bring a pretend protein shake in the car and just say i just finished the shake and am not hungry. well see how that works ill tell ya how much i weigh in the morning!

just doing laundry now, it feels so good to clean. i love cleaning. i love you all! shout out to all my followers! tell me a little bit about yourself!

xoxo gymnast